What is an Amicable Divorce?

Let’s look at the word, “Amicable.”  Here is one definition – Having a spirit of friendliness; without serious disagreement or rancor.

Many couples when facing the end of their marriage have as their goal an amicable divorce.  What couples might say is, “I don’t want the divorce to destroy either one of us,” or, “I want my spouse and I to get to the other side whole, intact.” Others, “I want to co-parent well.  I want a friendly family relationship.”

Setting the intention or goal to get through the divorce process amicably is truly noble.  If this resonates with you, write down your intention(s) in getting through divorce.  Focus on what it is you want, less on what it is you don’t want.  Then, remind yourself of your intentions when feeling overwhelmed or upset. 

“I want to bring my best self forward.”

“I want to be kind and respectful.”

“I want to understand more than to be understood.”

“I want to be fair and honest.”

“I want to create a future that is good for the children and both of us.”

A divorce mediator will ask, “What are your goals for getting through your divorce?  For the future?”  Your answers to these questions can help a mediator move you in the direction of an amicable divorce.  The answers can help turn around disagreement or rancor before it settles in.